Like many high-functioning individuals throughout North America I started salivating from the moment that the fine folks at Kentucky Fried Chicken announced the greatest innovation in the world since the Earl of Sandwich first put meat between bread. Announced on April 1st, I was immediately concerned that the KFC Double Down- bacon, two different kinds of melted cheese, and the Colonel’s secret sauce, lovingly sandwiched between two pieces of Original Recipe chicken fillets – was a darkly cruel April Fools Day joke, but deep down I knew that something this close to perfection had to be for genuine. Later that day the barrage of media reports confirmed it, the Double Down was real, and it looked spectacular.
Debuting in the states on April 12!
So imagine my great dismay when I learned that the Double Down would launch April 12th across the United States, but wouldn’t be served north of the 49th parallel, amounting to one of the greatest fast-food disappointments since McDonald’s discontinued McPizza. Depression followed.
This all changed when on October 7th it was announced that KFC would be bringing their outstanding product to Canada, for a limited engagement beginning on October 18th. Winter turned to Summer. Like one of those stupid Apple geeks who line-up overnight for a new iPhone, I knew that I needed to get my hands on this delicacy on day one. Moments after sending news to a friend of the impending arrival of the Double Down, I received a meeting request for DD-day: Lunch at KFC – my schedule was cleared.
The day arrived, and I had the same anticipation I did as a kid on that Christmas Day when I knew I’d be getting my Red Ryder BB gun. As I walked to the KFC at Scotia Plaza I received a text from my friend Jess, a closet fat chick and fellow fast-food enthusiast: “en route, butterflies in my tummy”. We arrived to KFC to a line of over a hundred like-minded individuals, each eagerly awaiting their own taste of perfection. We got in line and our nervous anticipation soared to new heights, we eagerly scanned the food-court for those already fortunate enough to have their hands on the coveted sandwich, but it was like trying to spot a unicorn. Thirty minutes went by and we were still dozens of people away from realizing our dream but the large banner above the counter reminded us to keep our eyes on the prize. “Think you can take it down?” Yes we can!
Enough said
Finally, after almost an hour’s excruciating wait, the bright lights shone upon us and angels sang- we had reached the front of the line. To get the full experience, I ordered the Double Down combo, with a Diet Pepsi (Regular pop makes you fat), and resisted the urge to upsize to a large order of fries.We got our sandwiches, found a table, and tore through the paper bag to get to our prize.
Just before the first bite of my first Double Down
We did a quick cheers with our sandwiches and got started with the gluttony. I’ll skip the warnings from nutritionists, since I assume that most readers of this blog are smart enough to know that two pieces of fried chicken with bacon, cheese, and special sauce isn’t good for you, and move on to the review. The first bite was, as expected, very greasy, but also, very cheesy. We paused for a moment to reflect, and we both agreed that there was too much cheese, not enough bacon, and that bread is probably a waste of time in sandwiches past, present, and future. As it turned out, the excess cheese proved to be quite complementary when paired with the delicious fries. Though my body was already starting to feel uncomfortable with the mess I was forcing it to digest, I continued on, savoring every tasty, greasy, and salty bite. About three-quarters of the way through my sandwich I became filled with sadness, knowing that our time together was almost over.
Half way through I started to take smaller bites to savour every moment
Looking at the wad of meat in my hand, I decided to focus on the present; I took smaller bites and chewed slowly in order to give us a few more moments together. Suddenly, it was over. Except for a few globs of cheese clinging to the sandwich’s wrapper, it was gone.
The reminents of my Double Down affair
Though I had no immediate negative repercussions from the sandwich, I did have a greater than usual thirst, due to the high salt content of the sandwich. But that won’t be enough to keep me from the sandwich. As I write this, one week removed from my own personal nirvana, my fondness for the Double Down has not subsided. The sandwich is available in Canada until November 14th, and I will certainly be trying another before it goes the way of the McRib.
-Guest article by fast food enthusiast Lee Musser